LOVE

There are different types of love. The way you love your parents, your brother, your relatives, your couple and the ‘self love’. The las two are very connected because the way you love yourself is how you teach to others to treat you.

There is people, like me, that born with high ‘self love’ but depending on who is in front of them. Since I was a kid I had a lot of conversations with my mum who treated to convince or to correct me the way that my little friends treat me; I was so innocent for my age, I didn’t stumbled any time and anywhere. I was the perfect child who every parents would like to have.

But in an other way, with boys, I have always been so intelligent or smart (or so I thought). My motto was: fuck before they fuck me. Over the years I have realized that it was nothing more than a stupid teenage armor. Because the times that I felt in love that armor disappeared like any teen of my age.

Let’s talk about boys! Like most of my friends, I started flirting with boys since I was 14, when I started with my first boyfriend and disastrous relation. They were all ups and downs, forgiveness and regret. But as we were so young and inexperienced we made the worst mistake that can be made in a love relationship: put third parties. We both cried (especially him) and forgiven each other the next day.

We thought it was normal at our age, although we also dreamed of going to University together (we were still in School) and sharing notes in the same class.

Then came years in which I and my friends thought we were angels of Victoria's Secret (literally because some carnivals disguised ourselves, I still remember it), boys came and went (and if they were older better); but none stayed because if I liked any more of what it supposed to be I applied the motto of being the first to cut the relationship (or whatever that was). I was very afraid of having my heart broken, by then I had only broken it and suffered for my first ex-boyfriend too.

Then I had my second relationship, we fell deeply in love. But I had not changed yet, I still knew other boys and it seemed that my boyfriend forgave me everything. He just wanted to be with me, have children and be happy forever.

I have never known why I behaved like this, I suppose: immaturity. But I also suffered a lot because, in my opinion, regret is worse than suffering, that is, it is better that you put the horns to put them.

The relationship ended after almost 3 years and in a very strange way. From day to morning he blocked me on all social networks and told me that he wasn’t able to forgive things from my past.

I suffered so much, I felt the worst person in the world because it was the first time my heart was broken and I was to blame.

It is true that later on I knew that he actually was with another girl, at least although he was not honest with me ... he did not want to play with my feelings.

From there, I didn’t believing in love again. Since, contrary to what many people said: we loved each other very much, but we didn't love each other well.

Now I can say what it is to love but above all the most beautiful thing in the world: to be loved by someone. Love and be loved well. Now I know what it is.

If I had to create the perfect formula it would be: respect + attraction + blind trust.

The respect not only to the other person, but yourself too. Respect your times and theirs, but always be true to yourself. I also respect each other's space, because if I have a path or a goal in my life a couple should accompanies me but he/she can't be your crutch, because in the moment that crutch is broken, you fall to the ground and then getting up will cost you a lot . And there are people, friends of mine, who have always been with a sentimental crutch. If it weren’t their childhood boyfriend would be another boyfriend, but they have not known what the company is towards your goal.

Attraction, obviously physical attraction. But is not the most important part of the formula. It is basic to start the relation but what matters is the mental attraction. Most of young couples (including us) give to attraction around the 90% of the importance in a couple, it’s normal we are young. But who is going to care about you when your face will be full of wrinkles, and your teeth be false?

XOXO

Xaxo